I've always loved how people share their life stories on their birthdays, I've read a few awespiring ones so I thought I'd write one for myself too. We both know its impossible to put a life worth of words into a page so let me share a few colorful snippets of Sandy with you on this birthday. Please be warned, I wrote this in pure joy, also with an unreasonable amount of self-loathing, so do take this with a pinch of salt. Alternatively, you may stop reading. Anyway, here's why this year is worth sharing with you guys:
I turn 27 this year, and I have not accomplished anything by myself that I can be proud of. And that's okay. Birthdays are tough man - first of all, you're getting old, secondly, there is this unforgiving sense of anxiety about what to do about your birthday like going out, staying in or subtly nudging your friends and feel guilty at the same time. I have started to feel, at this point, YOUNG is no longer a term used to describe you. Here's why - you don't party as you used to, OK, I don't, and I can't anymore. I surrender easily to fatigue, hangovers feel like death, I'm ridiculously picky about the alcohol I drink, scratch that, I don't like the idea of getting wasted. Did I mention I could care less about missing out on smeared eye makeup and crying in the bathroom? On a serious note, the pain grows along with your age. The biggest lesson I've learnt is that I can't compare my progress to the progress of others, not even to my ideal self.
I am an introvert, which means that I hate you. No, I'm kidding. This whole coming to terms with myself and who I am was particularly hard, but I got it. The challenge of being an introvert is that sometimes people misread my inwardness as being upset about something all the time, or else they think I'm arrogant or elitist, which might still be true for some parts. People have told me that they expected me to be a stuck up before they got to know me because I seem perpetually aloof. But just because I’m introverted doesn’t mean I don’t like you, or that I don’t care about what you have to say. It just means I’m a tad awkward and usually more interested in experiences than I am in filling up the silence.
I have found someone special, the best thing that ever happened to me after food; someone I would love to spend my life with and vice versa, and that's about it. I've lost friends, I've gained friends and somewhere along the way, I found myself too.
The biggest lesson I've learned growing up, as the saying goes, is that "the most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern." I was a teenager who did not have much, but the love I had from my parents was boundless.
My health has been the best investment I've ever made. Some call it obsession, I call it determination. Honestly, my life would've sucked if I didn't work out. I have been through pretty rough patches, several twists and turns in the past year (who hasn't). There is no way in this crazy world I could have made it out if it wasn't for the times I've devoted into staying fit. Fitness is a lifestyle, a form of happiness, not a trend.
My religion is kindness, I'm not fishing for a compliment but I did something I've never done before this birthday. I somehow wished I knew better, much earlier. I prepared packets of food to the less fortunate, elderly aunties and uncles who are often left to live alone in these one-room housing area earmarked by HDB. I knew I couldn't solve all their problems, but I wished I have made someone's day, if not more.
With this note, I appreciate all your wishes and love you guys to bits! Birthdays are fun. They're a good time to reflect on a year lived. I won’t be wishing for anything this year, instead I will be planning to make the next year the best ever - to read more widely, to travel more journeys, to be more compassionate, to always be thankful.
Oh, and happy birthday to this new blog!
